Just Shut Up May 8, 2008

OK - originally I was going to title this post “Shut the F*ck Up” but it appears I still have some Victorian sense of sensibility that never shows itself when it should, and pops up in odd places where it’s not expected.

Reading other people’s blogs, and talking to people, I am struck today - honestly - by just how freaking awesome the world is - life is - for most of us most of the time. And how whiny and ungrateful we all are about it. Refusing to see the treasures, focusing on the piddly little stupid stuff.

And hey - I’m not getting on anyone’s case about this because I am as bad as anyone. In fact, eloquently more so, in most cases.

Seriously, people, what is it that we want?

There are mothers around the world who watch their children - literally - starve to death and pray for a miracle to arrive in the form of food.

There are other mothers who live with the it-becomes-almost-normal horror of bombs falling around their homes every day, shooting in the streets outside their doors.

And there are mothers diagnosed with devastating terminal illnesses, still getting out of bed every morning and making breakfast for their kids, knowing that what they are doing is creating “normal” memories they won’t be around to share with their kids.

Seriously - what in the hell do most of us bitch about anyway?

OK - I’ll start. Not having a car there for a while. Freaking wah. Windows leaking. Broken love affair.

When there are women whose men are not coming home from Iraq or Afghanistan and they struggle with what to tell their children - some of whom will never see their daddy’s face this side of eternity.

I guess what I’m saying is - to what degree have we become not just accustomed to bitching, but almost feel as if we have nothing valuable to contribute to a conversation unless we can chime in with a “Me too - let me tell you how my life sucks!”

Our planet is groaning and keening, our economy is in deep doo-doo, but still and all, the vast majority of us horsing around the blogosphere have the opportunity to breathe clean air, drink clean water, eat until we are full (and bitch about gaining weight) and a front row seat to colors and textures and smells and abundance that no human artist could pull together all at once.

Do we even see it? Do we ever get how amazing it all is?

The generally negative worldview is so pervasive that anyone not in lockstep is derisively called a “Pollyanna”. Or whatever the current term is.

God, how I want to be a Pollyanna!

I want to consciously choose to see the bright side of things consistently, to see the good in people instead of the flaws, the blessings around me instead of the inconveniences.

I can tell you from personal experience that “being broke” and even “going broke” is absolutely not the worst thing that can happen to a person.

Nor is having one’s little heart broke - even getting one’s little ass kicked.

Yes, those things suck. But what I want to train myself to do is to see those things for what they are - temporary landscape in an overall panorama of richness and treasures.

Seriously, there is not a woman on the planet that has more to be grateful for than me. My cup absolutely runneth over, and I knew the day I saw the second of my two grandchildren born that I could truly die that day - absolutely fulfilled.

I don’t want to miss the beauty around me, the gifts in my life. I don’t want to overlook them because I am so wrapped up in my own pity party bullshit.

I don’t want to focus on negativity anymore.

I’m still prone to fears and doubts. I’m 47 after all. I’ve accumulated my baggage.

I just don’t want to drag it around like a matched designer set anymore. I want to honor my past experiences, learn from them, and move the fuck on.

I want to laugh. I want to cry and mourn when it’s appropriate, and not get stuck there.

I don’t want to miss this wonderful time of my life.

Man - this sort of sounds like a Dennis Miller rant, doesn’t it?