I Know Britt Hates Ikea But… May 14, 2008

…I have discovered a new way to get myself out of a funk.

Play around with the Ikea Kitchen Planning Tool.

See, here’s the thing.

Because of my very own actions and behavior, I had gotten myself into a situation where I felt I was “out of control” of my own life again. The very antithesis of where I very much need to be right now, as we all know.

So last night, after work, I had some quiet time and I took care of some very pressing business (read: finished my son’s FAFSA so he can continue his brilliant career in college next year).

And then I immersed myself once again into the wild and wooly and wonderful world of daydreaming and planning about how to turn my little diamond in the rough home into a jewel that reflects who I am and how I want to live.

My daughter hates Ikea. I think the biggest reason is that she absolutely hates the shopping experience there. Not a warehouse type of girl, our Britter.

And I agree with her that the living room furniture is not at all to my taste.

But the kitchen stuff is.

See, this place is very small. Like - less than 12 feet wide. Which is fine. I’m into small spaces. They’re easier to clean, and it makes me feel cozy and safe. In my cave, which is a term everyone who knows me has heard me utter more than a cajillion times.

But I’m also very much into beauty, and more so the older I get.

It is important to me to have things that are pleasing to the eye surrounding me.

That’s why I’m such a nature freak, because not even the most incredibly talented designer or artist can begin to compare with how amazingly beautiful a lot of things in nature are. My friend Selma gets it.

If I could live outside year round, I would.

But since I can’t - and since this place basically needs gutting from the walls and floors out, I have the lovely challenge/opportunity to start all over.

Now, I live 186 miles from the nearest Ikea. (I know because it told me so on their website.) And I am too damn lazy and cheap to drive that far to get stuff.

But a clever woman such as muself can take their ideas and make them work with locally available stuff.

For instance, I absolutely love the look of their freestanding kitchens with open shelving, because it makes the space look larger and brighter and airier. And because I suppose something in my rebels at the traditional bank of oaken cabinets lining every wall. Bleh.

And I really like that you can click on the little inspiration pictures and get all kinds of cool storage and organizational tips and ideas.

Trust me - clever storage is mah thing lately. Such an exciting life I lead.

AND, with the cool little planner feature, if my darling daughter wanted to go download the kitchen planner tool, I could then send her files with the layout of my kitchen - which would then almost substitue for the fact that I can’t send her pictures of my home, being sans camera for the time being. Hint Hint.

You know, I bought my home for $500.

No, seriously, I did. You may all take a moment now to laugh uproariously.

So I obviously am not going to do a $10,000 kitchen upgrade.

But as I mentioned before, everything in the damn place is rotten and warped and yucky. So it all must go.

My darling son would prefer, of course, a $10,000 kitchen upgrade.

He, of the “has never had to earn that kind of money before” brand.

So, come on.

Come out of lurkdom, kids.

Help me out here.

Send the ideas my way.

They say the first thing you have to do is to be very clear on what you want the space to do.

I dearly love to cook.

My kitchen table, in my home, has always been the heart of my home.

Britt will remember, even after she grew up and moved out, coming over and sitting at my kitchen table for a cup of coffee or whatever for the most wonderful talks - something, thank God, we duplicate now every morning by phone during her commute to work. It is, by far, my favorite part of the day.

I dearly and passionately love to cook. And I love to have friends over after work - maybe not for a complete Thanksgiving meal - but we’ve shared a nachos extravaganza - or maybe just margaritas with a bag of chips and a jar of salsa.

My friend Joyce comes over sometimes for a cup of coffee and a muffin. (She brings the muffins, and lovely they are!)

I am all into reclaiming old stuff, using unconventional elements in new ways, and I am very very very into the “natural elements” look like wood countertops and burlap covered walls and raised stencilled trees on the walls.

So come on. Bring on the ideas, you creative geniuses, you.

It’ll be fun!

We’re talking about giving creative expression and a “look” to my life here!

My Black Friday November 23, 2007

Bllleeeeeehhhhhhhhhh.

I know - I’m about to commit sacrilege here, but today is the day across the United States where people get up at the crack of dark and voluntarily go out among crazed hordes of holiday shoppers, running their little credit cards ragged.

I’ve done it once, and I still shiver thinking about it.

First, I think no one should have to get up at 4 am unless they are about to be executed - and even then, now that I think about it, that might be cruel and unusual punishment.

Secondly, I don’t like to shop - as in, wander around overwhelmed by way too much stimulus hoping that something will jump out at you as the perfect gift for whoever.

The one and only time I ever went was with my beloved daughter, who lives for that crap. Luckily she was six months pregnant so we were repeieved earlier than we would have been normally. She was fatigued. I was catatonic.

But what made that whole thing bearable was watching her. The night before, she spreads out all the sales stuff on the table, strategizing like Mussolini for her conquest of the shopping world.

She arrives at my door at like 4:30 am, perfectly coiffed and made up with a spring in her step and a song in her heart. And in the stores - folks - she’s a wonder to behold. Her little chin stuck out (which is how you know she’s really determined), marching purposefully through the maze I mean aisles.

She did let me stop and get Chinese for lunch, as I recall.

Well, Darling lives 1400 miles away now, so I was spared.

So I worked on making stuff in the morning before I went to work.

See, my kids are all adults now. I’m not a part of their day to day lives, for the most part, so I don’t know what they think about/talk about/want on an everyday basis.

So I am giving each of them money - and they can spend it on some froo frah thing they think I’d think was frivolous - or bills they are too proud to let me know they couldn’t pay.

But to give money alone is so tacky, and impersonal.

So I am making each of them a few little things too. Things I can’t post here because they might see them. But things that I have thought about and plotted and re-worked in my head now for months.

Happy Black Friday to me!

When Your Favorite Bag Dies… November 19, 2007

I make bags - purses, handbags, whatever you call them. I make a lot of stuff sctually, as the mood strikes or I see something cool on Crafster but bags are quick and instant gratification stuff.

I also make stuff - as in bags - out of duct tape. I know - it sounds funny but hey…

So even though I have several bags that I have made, there is one that has been my go-to bag. It holds everything, it’s perfect to sling over my shoulder and take off to work or wherever and I remember when I first saw it in the store I coveted it madly, and my sons laughed at me and told me I was too old for such a bag.

Little assholes.

Anyway, now about five years of constant use later, my favorite bag has finally bit the dust. Zippers are toast and the lining is so bad that I had stuff under the lining in it, unreachable unless you took the whole thing apart.

So, being cheap and creative, I made another one exactly like it - out of duct tape.

Hmmmm - and I can’t figure out how to embed the photo so you have to see it here and here.

Now, bear in mind this is only a prototype - as in, not lined, no embellishments, etc - and in the shiny silver tape. I was trying to figure out how to put all the pieces together.

But I was pretty proud of myself!